(This column was written by Art Buchwald from his hospice in Washington, D.C., where he is undergoing care. Buchwald has resumed writing his regular column.)

June 06 2006: AMERICA has never been as torn apart as it has been in the last month. The reason is the “Da Vinci Code.” There are those who read the book but haven’t seen the movie. There are those who have seen the movie but haven’t read the book. There are those who liked the book and hated the movie. And there are those who hated the book but loved the movie. And some even liked the book and the movie. Others didn’t read the book, so they donÂ’t understand the movie.

There are those who tell everyone they would never see the film of the “Da Vinci Code” because it’s anti-religious. There are those who sneaked into the movie without telling their priest. There are those who don’t believe that Jesus was married, and those who buy the theory that he and Mary Magdalene had children. There are those who think that Mary is hidden in Da Vinci’s painting of the Last Supper. And there are those who swear that Jesus was single and remained that way after the Passover dinner.

Now don’t go away. There are those who saw pictures of Leonardo Da Vinci’s “Last Supper” in newspapers and magazines, but the ones who get the highest marks are those who have been to Milan to see the original painting. And then there are those who have been to the Louvre, where the murder in the “Da Vinci Code” took place.

Don’t forget the members of Opus Dei, who are furious at the way the author Don Brown portrayed them. They vowed not to see the movie. There are some who won’t see it until it gets to Blockbuster. There are some people who didn’t like Tom Hanks’ hair in the movie. The makers of the movie are very happy with the box office receipts. And the theatre owners are very happy that there are enough people who want to see it.

What has split America apart is that people are so emotional about the movie that they have been picketing theatres. But this hasn’t affected popcorn sales. In fact, almost everyone who went to see the movie ate popcorn while they watched. The “Da Vinci Code” has become the major topic of conversation in people’s homes, churches, and schools.

The first thing people say to each other is, “Have you seen the ‘Da Vinci Code?”’ If you tell them you have, they either say “I hated it” or “I didn’t think it was as bad as everyone said.” Some people said they wouldn’t let their children see the movie. As soon as they said that, their children wanted to see it. There’s no doubt that the booksellers are thrilled with the popularity of the book. It’s been the biggest seller of all time, if you don’t count the Bible.

The question is, can Americans unite again and be the Judeo-Christian society we all believe in? You may be wondering where I stand on the movie. I haven’t seen it, but would love the opportunity to do so. I read the book. At least I read it up to page 18, where I am mentioned – in regards to an article I wrote on the Louvre. That’s as far as I got, but I’m a slow reader.–Dawn/Tribune Media Services.
Source: Dawn
Date:6/6/2006